So I was having major blogger guilt by the fact that I haven’t posted in a few weeks, and then I realized I should just get over it and jump back in without another second to lose. I laugh because I never imagined joining the blogging world before a few months ago. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE reading other blogs -- I just didn’t think I wanted to read my own. Oooh! That’s when it hit me. I was caught up in those two little words, “my own.” My own words, my own time, my own money, my own family, my own house, my own life, and even my own Jesus. I don’t really want to let people into my world of thoughts and mental processes. Ouch! A sense of entitlement comes to the surface even in how I attempt to posses my own words. Despite the fact that some people refer to pastoral ministry as living in a glass house, I find myself pulling the shades down tightly around me. I seek privacy in the sacred spaces, and sometimes I get pretty possessive when I find something that I can keep “my own.”
But interestingly enough this is opposite of God’s thinking. All that I am and all that I have belongs to God. . . even my words. I’m just borrowing human skin to carry around His instruments. It comes down to a stewardship issue for me. God breathed life into me, and I have a daily choice of how I’m going to manage those breaths. Can I be transparent enough to share my struggles if God can use them to encourage someone else? Can I be bold enough to ask for help if God wants to grow someone else’s faith by meeting a need? Can I be humble enough to offer thanksgiving if it can bring glory to God? Can I be silly enough to laugh at my humanity if God wants to reaffirm someone else’s security? Oh, how I want to. I want to let go of bubbles and opinions and pre-conceived notions. I’ve decided that blogging is a good tool for me, too. I don’t need a ticker that counts how many people see what I write. I want to give my words as an offering to God and as a written record of His grace working itself out in me. I want to keep letting the SON shine in as I find peace in being vulnerable before an audience of ONE.
On another note, these last few weeks have been filled with lots of fun news for our family. First, we are so very thrilled to welcome Charles Lee Grey to the family! He was born January 28th to my brother & sis-in-law, Seth and Hannah. I had the wonderful chance to spend a precious day in Atlanta with baby Charlie and big brother Chase. We are counting the days until our next visit in a few weeks. This auntie wants to smell her some baby!
I’m also ecstatic about welcoming another member to the family, but this time it’s an addition happening by marriage. My sister, Mary Kathryn, is now engaged to marry someone we’ve all come to love and respect, and we are so very happy about God’s choice for her husband. It’s going to be a wonderful day in the not so far-off future when she becomes Mrs. Ben Profitt and we have another brother and uncle in our crazy clan!
Finally, I always want to remember to how special Valentine’s Day 2011 was. My 1,000 Gifts List continues as I thank God for the way He loves me in such special ways:
67. Sacrificial love (John 3:16)
68. Heart shaped chocolate-chip pancakes
69. “No school today” because we can make the rules
70. Almost 70 degree spring ticklers
71. The Master’s Creativity shown through colors, shapes, and sizes exhibited at the
72. Chick Fil A’s 100 calorie chargrilled fillets with 20 grams of protein
73. Mushy kisses and carefree laughter that teach kids what marriage can really be
74. Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha (skinny) ordered Extra Hot and delivered by an Extra Hot
75. Family candlelit pizza dinner eaten on fine china and crystal while dressed in our finest
76. Shoeboxes filled with homemade Valentines that surpass Hallmark any day
77. Leftover Christmas gift cards that provide a night at the movies for a family of 6
78. Gifts of LIFE that show Christ's love