The Widow Project

We’re really excited about today's project, one that God dropped right into our hearts.  I’ve quoted James 1:27 in other posts, but it’s usually in emphasis of the word “orphan” –  “Religion that God the Father accepts as pure and without fault is this:  caring for orphans or widows who need help."  Well, what about the widow?  Where can God’s heart for the widow fit into our adoption plans? 

As we’ve tried to creatively figure out our adoption funding, we came across an innovative fundraising idea.  Here’s the story: through a grief ministry, we met a widow I’ll call “Lady L.”  She has two children – twins – who will be 9 years old on Valentine’s day.  Since her husband’s death last spring, her home projects have piled up.

So, we gathered an incredible group of family and friends for a mini-version of “Extreme Makeover Home Edition.”  This morning, we’re loading up vans with paintbrushes, ladders, lumber, cleaning supplies, mulch, and so much more. We'll take care of Lady L’s “honey-do” list . . . all free of charge with no-strings attached!  When we told her our plans to give a free day of labor, she was absolutely floored.  We knew God led us to the right family when Lady L said she had just prayed for someone to help her … and soon after, we called.

What does all this have to do with our adoption funds?  This is the other part that blows me away.  Not only are the amazing volunteers on our team joining us in a physical labor of love this week-end, but they mailed hundreds of letters asking for sponsorships . . . sponsorships which will go 100% towards our Ethiopian adoption expenses.  In essence, they are caring for the widow in service and caring for the orphan with financial sponsorships!

Every day, our kids run to the mailbox, looking for white envelopes arriving with this sponsorship money.  Imagine 4 little faces and 1 grateful mama doing the “happy dance” at the mailbox around 1PM everyday!  With every gift, I love hearing 4-year old Sam say, “God brought us more “doption” money.”  Through the gifts of both friends and strangers, we see God’s heart in action.  We are deeply humbled and thankful. 

In case you want to contribute towards this “Widow/Orphan” Project, it’s pretty simple.  You can click on the DONATE tab at the top of this blog, and make a tax-deductible donation via Paypal.  Or you can just send an email to jessicaforrester@allnationschurch.org, and I can give you more traditional payment information.  Above all, we covet your prayers that we will be a huge blessing to “Lady L” and this paves the way to bring “Baby Forrester” home. 

With love and thanks,

Jessica

P.S.  If you have friends or family who may want to get involved with a sponsorship gift, feel free to share this post on Facebook or Twitter by clicking on the “Share” tab. 

FAQ #3: Why does international adoption cost so much?

What a week of stepping back into the routine of school, new goals, and life’s daily adventures … but I just realized I’m behind on a blog post.  So here I am, finally sharing about the most recent “God confirmations” in the middle of our adoption journey. 

When we accepted the adoption call, a hefty price tag hung in our way.  I kept hearing about how expensive international adoptions were, and quite frankly, the idea of mixing money with children made me queasy. Already, there’s enough unimaginable atrocities happening to children in the name of the almighty dollar.  But as I’ve trudged through this adoption process, I’ve come to peace with the many different components which make these dollar numbers realistic and even necessary. 

Why do international adoptions cost so much? It varies some depending on the agency and country, but here’s where the money goes for our Ethiopia Program: 

Agency Application - $300

Immigration Application - $800

U.S. Home Study - $1,850

Dossier Fee - $3,000

Ethiopia Fee - $11,900

Travel/Lodging - $7,000 (This is approximate. . .  Ethiopia requires two trips, and then we’ll also have an additional child ticket on the final return – yea!!)

Post-Adoption Reports - $1,200 

The most expensive part, Ethiopia’s Program Fee, actually covers more than the legal fees for the country.  A portion of this money is used to provide supplies, food, medicine, and lodging for the kids who are still there and who may never have a forever family to come home to.  I love this!  So I’ve come to grips with the cost. Can I really put a price tag on a child’s life and determine in my finite mind that it’s not something I can afford? I fully believe our lives are best spent in partnership with God in redemptive mission, and adoption is such a beautiful picture of how God brings us into His family. 

Let me add one more honest thought: I really, really didn’t want to ask anyone for a single red cent towards this journey.  I was proud – and just plain fearful of criticism and misunderstanding.  After all, did I do fundraisers to pay hospital bills for the births of my other children?

But adoption IS different in some ways.  James 1:27 says, “This is pure and undefiled religion to care for the orphan and the widow.”  Adoption is a Great Commission activity.  For some of us, this may mean bringing a child into our home, or building wells for clean water, or providing education and medical supplies to a rural village.  These perpetual, global challenges require a funding born out of a Gospel-centered community instead of a single pocketbook. 

So I’m learning to get my self-sufficient spirit out of the way.  I am awestruck by the generous donations of friends, family, and even strangers.  I am so grateful for the love being poured out, and I want to commit my life to likewise pouring back into others. 

“God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.”  -- A.W. Tozer

What To Expect When You're Expecting

When I found out we were expecting our first baby, my feelings ran the gamut as much as my hormones did.  I was elated, nervous, impatient, giddy, anxious, and absolutely overjoyed and overwhelmed at the idea of becoming a mom.  I started reading books, eating certain foods and avoiding others, talking to other moms, and coming up with my birth plan (yeah, I know that’s kind of a joke to some, but the organizer in me needed a game plan).  I was TOTALLY engrossed in this amazing transformation happening to my body and my psyche!  I loved this little person growing inside me.  I’d never seen her smile, stroked her hair, smelled her skin, heard her cries, or tasted her kisses, yet I would have literally given my life for her.  Fast forward through a 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th pregnancy, and despite being a veteran mom, I was still surprised every time by the awe I felt with each new life. 

So I laugh at myself for not expecting to feel the same way with how God is growing our family now.  I’m falling madly in love with this child growing inside my heart.  I think about him or her or THEM all the time (yes, we are open to siblings)!  Some thoughts are trivial, like bedroom arrangements or if we can buy smaller chairs to fit everyone around the table.  Recently, I looked online to see if my favorite Pottery Barn stockings were still available. I just knew when I ordered the kids each one a few years ago that we would NEVER need another stocking for our mantle.  Gotta love our plans, huh?!  Other times my thoughts jump to heavier places, and all I can really do is turn my mama tears into prayers.  These are His children first, and we must trust Him to protect their little lives while they wait for us to come. 

So what do we do in the meantime?  When pregnant with a child inside your womb, you know when to expect their arrival.  Adoption is a different story since so much of it is completely out of our hands.  Many have asked us about the process and what it entails, so I thought this would be a great FAQ #2.  Let’s talk straight logistics of the process. 

First, we selected an adoption agency.  This was a huge research project since I wanted a reputable group advocating for orphans in the most ethical manner possible.  I could do an entire post on the agency we selected, but you can click here to read a little about Holt International’s work in Ethiopia.  I love that Holt’s mission is more than just adoption.  They are building hospitals, providing education, and getting help into rural areas so orphan numbers don’t continue to grow. 

After an initial application with Holt, we moved to the home study portion.  Because our agency is out of town, we contracted a local social services organization to do our home study.  We filled out more paperwork than a house purchase (30 question survey, tracking down birth & marriage certificates, daily schedule forms, financial data, letters of reference, lots of background checks, DMV records, federal fingerprinting, physicals and blood work, and other fun paper chasing).  As crazy as collecting data seems, every appointment and notarized document makes us feel one step closer to our child.  The home study also involves training, personal and joint interviews, and a visit to our house – I’ll let you know how all that goes.

In the meantime, we are working on a dossier, which is a fancy name for more official paperwork.  The dossier includes much of the above, with a higher level of security to get things legally ready for Ethiopia.  It’s pretty funny to think of our family being represented to another government in a manila envelope.  We’ll make sure not to send oatmeal cookie crumbs or batman stickers on anything important! 

Once the dossier is submitted to Ethiopia and translated accordingly, they begin matching us with a child (or two!).  This is determined through our application information (i.e. gender, age, medical needs, etc.).  Ethiopian adoptions are almost evenly divided between girls and boys, and since we aren’t specifying a gender, it will be fun to see if our boy streak continues.  As for the age, we want to keep our birth order the same, which means we’ll qualify for children under age 4.  I’m thinking a newborn and a toddler would be perfect, and I’m also thinking I’m crazy!  Good thing God is in complete control, and He knows who our family needs and who needs our family.  That’s so reassuring to me.

After being matched with a child (this is called a referral), we await a court date to appear in Ethiopia.  Not every country requires this, but Ethiopia prefers to have all the paperwork done before the child leaves the country.  So one or both of us will go before the court for adoption approval, and then we’ll both return about 6 weeks later for a permanent appointment. Finally, we’ll bring our precious ones home for the first time.  Whew! 

Holt has an average waiting time of 12-18 months from start to finish for their Ethiopia program.  I’m really praying that we’ll have new faces on our Christmas card next year.  There’s lots of fundraising to do since each of these steps requires chunks of change, but thankfully it’s all just chump change to God.  I’ll tell you about how the money part works in the next post.  We’re already blown away by financial support from friends, family, and even strangers.  It’s a great story we’re watching unfold thanks to many of you playing a special part!

Why Ethiopia?

   

    It’s so much fun talking with friends, family, and strangers about our adoption journey.  We're  overjoyed with the support and encouragement so many have offered, and we’ve already had some great dialogue about adoption.  I thought it would be helpful to post a few FAQs in case you’re wondering some of the same things.  The #1 question is, “Why Ethiopia?” so let’s start there!

     When we first began researching adoption, we actually started looking at the needs right here in our own backyard.  Do you know there about 100,000 children needing forever families right here in America?  A really mind-boggling statistic is that we have approximately 300,000 churches in the U.S.  If one in three churches had just ONE FAMILY that could take a child into their home, there would be NO MORE ORPHANS in the United States.  We definitely believe in the power and call to domestic adoption, but we also felt God nudging our family to keep researching.  Here’s what we discovered: 

•   There are 143 million orphans in the world today.
•  Approximately 1/3 of the world’s orphans live in Africa.
• 15 million children have lost one or both parents to AIDS
• 5 million orphans live in Ethiopia alone. . . that is 5 million McKenzie’s, Luke’s, Jake’s, and Sam's without a mom or dad in that one country alone.
•  AIDS, famine, and war are the main factors of why so many orphans don’t make it very long.  It’s literally a matter of life and death for these kids!     

     Many orphans in Ethiopia's care system die each year due to not enough food, clean water, or medicine.  I mentioned this in a previous post, but it’s worth saying again:  While we have the luxuries of American culture, around the world 26,000 children are dying EACH DAY from preventable diseases and starvation.  Many of these kids have a death sentence from the very beginning of life.  There is a great need for adoptive families in every country, but Ethiopia is somewhat unique because there are more orphaned children than there are people willing to adopt them. 

     We honestly didn’t choose Ethiopia for shock value, but it’s funny how Africa seems extreme to American minds.  We simply recognize a need and believe God has called our family to this country for this season.  Every orphan needs a family no matter where they live – in America, Ethiopia, and everywhere in between.  God doesn’t love us any more because we’re going across the ocean to join His work, and He also doesn’t love the orphans here in the States any more than the ones on the other side of the globe.  While I love the Red, White, and Blue, I’m ultimately a citizen of God’s kingdom, and I feel certain that there are no borders, racial distinctions, or other man-made barriers. 

     Christ came to redeem the entire world, and He is sending the Forrester family to Ethiopia to love on some of His children there.  It’s a lengthy process and it comes at a cost, but we are desperate to get there quickly and have complete faith in God’s sovereignty.  We are really excited and so very humbled that many of you want to join us in this adventure.  I can’t wait to post more of the FAQs so you can get involved in this humble effort!  Until then, thank you for your generous prayers and cheers of support.

Express Mail From God

      I absolutely love the looks of joy and excitement when I surprise my kids with a fun outing, a new pair of shoes, or even something as simple as a pack of chewing gum.  Just the act of giving a gift of time, service, or an item can change the course of their day and mood.

     This verse popped out at me this week:  “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

     Why am I always surprised by all the God-gifts that fill my own days?  After all, God delights in His children, and I think He gets the same pleasure out of watching us delight in His gifts.  So as we’re busy wrapping presents for those we love, take a moment to unwrap one for yourself sent Express from your Maker!  It may not come in the packaging you expected, but it’s still exactly what you need.

Continuing my list of 1,000 Gifts this week:

36.  Making memories with friends while constructing gingerbread houses

37.  Heartwarming Christmas carols in a hot tub on a very cold night

38.  Baking day with my momma and 4 little elves

39.  12 miles on a steep incline of a spinning bike just so I could eat extra 7-layer cookies

40.  Walking into a clean house and flowers on the table from a thoughtful husband

41.  Christmas movie marathons late at night because who needs a bedtime during this fun season

42.  Girlfriends who can jump in conversation from hair color to international adoption plans without skipping a beat

43.  Fundraiser plans coming together as a reminder that God is our Provider

44.  Positive medical exams and blood work to make sure we’re physically fit to welcome more children home

45.  Notes from kiddos instructing us to empty their piggy banks so we can get their new sisters or brothers home fast

46.  Times with extended family that remind us that family times really are the happiest times

47.  Grace under pressure and peace that passes our understanding

48.  Simplifying this Christmas so we can truly celebrate Christ

Unwrapping the Gift of a Moment

God decided to add His own Christmas decorations today as He blanketed the grounds in white. It’s amazing how the city comes to a halt much like the feel of a holiday.  I must admit that my first plan of action was to ignore the warnings of bad roads and just plow through my to-do list as planned.  After all, I’ve got a lot of “important” tasks to get crossed off  (32 items on today’s to-do list to be exact) so why should I let a little fluffy stuff interfere?  But thanks to the wisdom of my husband who really didn’t want me driving, my day turned more purposeful than my planning could have ever accomplished. 

Most mommas find out really fast that a “snow day” entails work of a different kind.  Days like today involve several loads of clothes in the dryer in between rounds of frozen fun, lots of extra dishes and mugs from my children and their friends who find their way inside to warm up, more cooking than normal because their appetites seem bigger than the snowmen they build, and a very heightened sense of child energy that requires triple the usual amount of coffee to keep up.

But I feel like I received a special gift wrapped in white today.  I was forced to abandon my plans, and I received the gift of a moment. I know it sounds cliché, but so many times our days are so full of things to do that we forget all the individual moments that make up a day.  I don’t know about you, but my focus can easily be on what needs to get done instead of what I can do with the moments I’ve been given right now.  Today’s moments – not tomorrow’s or the ones next month or next year – open my world up to so many opportunities.  When I do my best with the present moment, it puts me in the best place for the next moment.  They only come one moment at a time, and I can count on grace to open my eyes to the power each one hold. 

So while I didn’t get to the post office, doctor’s office, bank, grocery store, library, or get much done in the home academics world, instead I unwrapped beautiful moments one by one.  I was able to watch children eating snow, listen in and occasionally offer thoughts on growing girl conversations with my oldest and her friends, help little boys construct their own ice skating “patch” with water carried from the bathroom sink, and serve up nourishment of both words and bread.  On days like today when I wanted to do what I thought mattered most, God graciously opened my eyes to His desires for my moments.  And I think that ended up being what truly mattered. 

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. . .”

                                             Matthew 6:34 (The Message)

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”

                                          H. G. Wells

“Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

                                         Henry Miller

Daily Gifts

     Twinkling lights, apple spices, Christ-child carols, and a spirit of giving fill the atmosphere with anticipation in a way that makes December a month like no other.  I was reflecting the other day on some of my favorite Christmas gifts – my first tea set, a cordless curling iron, the trampoline from our parents, the music box from Brian – and my heart was warmed by the thoughtful and sacrificial love shown with each of those special gifts.  These carefully selected goods weren’t purchased to overshadow the ultimate Gift, but they were in celebration of our ultimate example of giving. 

     I believe God smiles upon gift-giving.  After all, He was the first one to bestow gifts in a tangible way.  He wrapped His most precious gift in tinsel of skin and ribbons of swaddling clothes to breathe love on a lost world.  That baby boy King gave all Creation hope and a future, and the grown man Savior ultimately gave His life for our eternity.  He is the gift that keeps giving through the hands and feet of His children.  Our gifts of love to the least of these, our hearts of service to those in need, our talents and treasures in worship can overflow from under our Christmas trees this year.  I think they’ll fit perfectly with the pretty packages.

     So often I get caught up in the “big gifts” in life, but I don’t want to miss out on the daily gifts that are special-wrapped just for me by the One who knows exactly what I need.  That’s why the list-crazy lady that I am is so excited about what is transpiring as I daily make note of heavenly gifts being delivered more timely than any UPS shipment could.  As I mentioned in previous posts, I’ve joined up with an online community who is intentionally making lists of all the gifts around us everyday.  Of course, the goal is to post on Mondays with the group, and here it is Wednesday, but that’s okay.  Now I have another item to add to my list -- the gift of grace on me even in the little things!   What’s amazing about celebrating God’s daily gifts is that I’m seeing how uniquely God has made me and knows just what to surprise me with.  He’s not re-gifting someone else’s unwanted present, but He has the perfect size, color, and price-point for what this woman needs.  By searching for the gift in daily experiences (even the tough ones), it is making my relationship with the Giver more alive than ever. 

     I encourage you, friend, to not only be a giver during this season, but be open to receiving too – God has so many gifts wrapped just for you! 

     One Thousand Gifts is the online community of gratitude, and here my list continues. . .

 

25.  A loud van horn that did its job to keep our family from a near parking-lot accident

26.  New friendship formed while sweating and sharing hearts over cardio machines at the gym

27.  Anticipation of an entire 24 hours alone with the man who holds my heart

28.  Tough questions asked by our adoption social worker

29.  An overdue afternoon of eating, sharing, and shopping with my momma

30.  Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork that make me feel just a little closer to our new family member

31.  A white envelope filled with a sacrificial gift that will take a chunk out of our home study costs

32.  Middle of the night searches under sheets and pillows for a stuffed-puppy named “Sammy”

33.  Text messages from a fast growing girl that make this pre-teen trip oh so sweet

34.  Feeling the steam rise from mugs of hot cocoa and watching them warm little bodies

35.  Counting down to the birthday of our Savior with songs, lights, and smells to celebrate the greatest Gift of all

P.S.  If you’re looking for a meaningful way to give, check out my friend, Christie Cotney’s blog:  Compass In My Heart.  She just moved to Uganda and really needs help with child sponsorships for about 100 more children.  Each sponsorship provides a child with the opportunity to attend school, receive medical treatment, have a daily meal, and get access to other basic necessities.  I LOVE these kind of gifts!!