What's the update with the adoption?

     This definitely tops the list of frequently asked questions these days, and I love it.  Like a mama who loves to talk about her L & D story or one whose face lights up as she recounts cute quips from her child, it warms my heart when sweet people ask me for updates on this adoption journey.  I must admit that lately, I’ve been hesitant to respond.  Not because I don’t want to talk about it, but because I’ve been holding on to lots of emotions unsure of how to wrap my heart around them.  And maybe because I don’t have good answers that allow me to control the outcome of this journey. 

     Just a quick recap of what’s been happening on the international adoption scene:  Ethiopia’s adoption program has been on the radar for needed reform these past several months.  There have been child trafficking cases and corrupt agencies who are being exposed, and this filthy part of humanity just makes me sick.  As a potential adoptive parent, I am adamantly in support of the highest standards of ethics, and I want to fight for the rights and preservation of families above all.  But the divide in the adoption community has been how to handle that.  Initially the main social services agency in Ethiopia felt that reducing the # of adoptions (potentially by 90%) would help eliminate the corruption.   This could lead to potential shutdown of adoptions altogether as we saw happen in Vietnam and Guatamala a few years ago.  While officials are weeding out evil, what happens to the innocent children?  They face indefinite institutionalization which has proven detrimental time and time again.  And what about those who have special needs who face death if they do not receive better medical care?  I know of many cases like this personally where a child would have died in a matter of days if they remained in the care of a third world orphanage.  So can there be another solution for these children while at the same time protecting them from corruption? 

     I don’t claim to have answers.  I wish I did.  I like things neat and tidy that I can fix.  But in times like this, I’m just trusting God to watch over His children and give us wisdom in the meantime.  I’ve prayed for God to break my heart for what breaks His, and there have been a lot of breaking points lately.  I’m starting to understand what friends meant when they said adoption isn’t for the faint of heart.  The reality of this uncertainty is that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.  Through these recent up and down reports, God has used this time to expose us to some special needs situations that we may not have been open to before.  Who knows what is in store as we trust Him with the greater picture?

     We’d be most grateful for your prayers too. . . that we would be able to clearly discern if we are to remain with the Ethiopia program during this tumultuous time, that we would have clear direction if we are to switch to another country such as Uganda, and that we would trust Him completely for the medical needs of our future children.  I’m so glad that it’s not a burden I have to bear alone.  These Ethiopian babes are God’s first, and He’s holding them and us tight! 

     On a much lighter note, March has been a whirlwind already.  Some highlights include:

*Brian and I celebrated 13 years of wedded bliss.  I really think I’m the luckiest girl on earth, and I still can’t keep my hands off this man after all these years!  Life is sweet with him by my side.  It’s also birthday month for several in our family so it’s been one big sugar-high!

         *The Adoption Home Study is pretty much complete. . . the family interviews were just precious, and I really wish I had recorded them.  The kids met with our social worker privately as we strained our ears to hear answers from the other room.  When Luke was asked to share something about himself, he said, “I want people to know that I love God, I love my family, and I love the Dallas Cowboys!” Glad he has his priorities! Later when asked if they had any questions about our adoption plans, McKenzie said, “No, but I really like your earrings.”  That’s my girl!  When Jake and Sam were asked if they were hoping for a brother or sister, Jake said either was fine, but Sam was completely honest when he answered, “I want a boy so I can beat him up when we wrestle.”  Hope they don’t take off points for that one!   So now we’re pulling together some final documents, and then the real waiting will begin. 

     Finally, here are a few action shots from this month:

All 8 Grey/Forrester cousins celebrating Jack's 3rd birthday

March 7, 1998 . . . "To Infinity and Beyond"

Luke meeting cousin Charlie for the first time

Delicious Birthday Cupcakes!

Taking a stroll down the streets of Colonial Williamsburg

And The Winner Is. . .

Red Carpet galas are flooding the airwaves – the Grammy’s, the Emmy’s, the Oscars – it’s clearly Hollywood’s season to celebrate their own. 

All this hype got me thinking…what kind of awards show would God put on? The world gives trophies for beauty, talent, and popularity, but I have a feeling God’s criteria is exactly the opposite. Actually, I was just reading a great verse that confirms this hunch. 

Philippians 2:29-30 says, “Welcome him with Christian love and with great joy, and give him the honor that people like him deserve.  For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away.” 

Here, Apostle Paul describes the true award-winners: those who offer their lives for the work of Christ. The “God-Oscar” is presented to those who willingly give up titles, prestige, and possessions. They live as a love offering to their Maker, raising the bar for faith and sacrifice. The applause of Heaven is reserved for such as these.

Just for fun, I’ve listed my own nominations for God-Oscars. This is just a short list, but if you know of an individual or organization that deserves honor, would you kindly leave a comment or send me an email? You just never know what might touch someone’s heart and get their mission spinning in a new direction!  By clicking on any of these names, you'll be directed straight to a website with lots more information about their activity.    

Christie Cotney -- Christie fell in love with Jesus last year and quit her job, sold her car, and left her comfortable American dream to serve the people of Uganda. She is the hands and feet of Jesus as she brings education, clean water, medical care, and compassion to the Bugaboo Village. There are lots of ways to partner with Christie to see lives changed for eternity.

Orphan Helpers -- This is an incredible Hampton Roads-based ministry changing orphanages in Honduras, El Salvador, and Panama. Only 1% of orphans will ever be adopted, so what happens to the other 99%? Orphan Helpers provides loving, caring, Gospel-centered support to government-run orphanages in Central America. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to many of these places to witness the mission being carried out ... today’s orphans truly are tomorrow’s helpers when their lives are given eternal purpose through a ministry such as this. 

Sanctuary of Hope Children's Home -- With a staggering number of orphans in the world, some of these children can be found in Nairobi, Kenya, home to 600,000 people within six square miles. Pastor and Mrs. Karau have started two children’s homes right in the midst of the despair and suffering. True miracles are taking place as children are given hope and security through the tender love of this ministry. You can also read more about Esther, a two-year old our family sponsors to help with medical needs.    

All Nations Church -- I might be a little biased, but at our church I see scores of folks who offer their lives for the cause of Christ. I listen to my children re-tell Bible lessons and sing words of worship long after we leave the church doors. Their teachers are eternity-changers waving the banner of Christ week after week. Many in this congregation feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and reach the prisoner. By God’s grace, All Nations is a place where the least, last, forgotten, and forsaken are welcomed and received. What a privilege to partner with such a group! As a side note, Brian just finished a message series called, “The New Normal.” In case you want to listen, you can easily download the messages on iTunes or visit the message archives here. 

 Compassion International & World Vision -- Both of these organizations are reputable forces in the fight against poverty and disasters. With a huge reach into over 100 countries, they need our help. This is a powerful way to battle malnutrition and preventable disease, end child trafficking, educate and empower girls, provide crisis relief, and so much more. Sponsoring a child in one of these impoverished countries can literally be the difference between life and death.

P.S.  I love Paul’s descriptor in the end of Phillipians 2:30, “…and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away.”  So much of what these people and organizations do seems so far away. They go into places many of us may never go, but our prayers and financial support bridge the gap and truly honor them. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the many needs, but if each of us does just a little more, we’ll see a snowball effect. There’s no trophy on earth that compares to the honor of participating in the work of Christ!

My Words. . . Not My Own

     So I was having major blogger guilt by the fact that I haven’t posted in a few weeks, and then I realized I should just get over it and jump back in without another second to lose.  I laugh because I never imagined joining the blogging world before a few months ago.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE reading other blogs -- I just didn’t think I wanted to read my own.  Oooh!  That’s when it hit me.  I was caught up in those two little words, “my own.”  My own words, my own time, my own money, my own family, my own house, my own life, and even my own Jesus.  I don’t really want to let people into my world of  thoughts and mental processes.  Ouch!  A sense of entitlement comes to the surface even in how I attempt to posses my own words.  Despite the fact that some people refer to pastoral ministry as living in a glass house, I find myself pulling the shades down tightly around me.  I seek privacy in the sacred spaces, and sometimes I get pretty possessive when I find something that I can keep “my own.”  

     But interestingly enough this is opposite of God’s thinking.  All that I am and all that I have belongs to God. . . even my words.  I’m just borrowing human skin to carry around His instruments.  It comes down to a stewardship issue for me.  God breathed life into me, and I have a daily choice of how I’m going to manage those breaths.  Can I be transparent enough to share my struggles if God can use them to encourage someone else?  Can I be bold enough to ask for help if God wants to grow someone else’s faith by meeting a need?  Can I be humble enough to offer thanksgiving if it can bring glory to God?  Can I be silly enough to laugh at my humanity if God wants to reaffirm someone else’s security?  Oh, how I want to.  I want to let go of bubbles and opinions and pre-conceived notions.  I’ve decided that blogging is a good tool for me, too.  I don’t need a ticker that counts how many people see what I write.  I want to give my words as an offering to God and as a written record of His grace working itself out in me.  I want to keep letting the SON shine in as I find peace in being vulnerable before an audience of ONE. 

     On another note, these last few weeks have been filled with lots of fun news for our family.  First, we are so very thrilled to welcome Charles Lee Grey to the family!  He was born January 28^th to my brother & sis-in-law, Seth and Hannah.  I had the wonderful chance to spend a precious day in Atlanta with baby Charlie and big brother Chase.  We are counting the days until our next visit in a few weeks.  This auntie wants to smell her some baby!

     I’m also ecstatic about welcoming another member to the family, but this time it’s an addition happening by marriage.  My sister, Mary Kathryn, is now engaged to marry someone we’ve all come to love and respect, and we are so very happy about God’s choice for her husband.  It’s going to be a wonderful day in the not so far-off future when she becomes Mrs. Ben Profitt and we have another brother and uncle in our crazy clan!

     Finally, I always want to remember to how special Valentine’s Day 2011 was.  My 1,000 Gifts List continues as I thank God for the way He loves me in such special ways:

67.  Sacrificial love (John 3:16)

68.  Heart shaped chocolate-chip pancakes

69.  “No school today” because we can make the rules

70.  Almost 70 degree spring ticklers

71.  The Master’s Creativity shown through colors, shapes, and sizes exhibited at the

       Norfolk Zoo

72.  Chick Fil A’s 100 calorie chargrilled fillets with 20 grams of protein

73.  Mushy kisses and carefree laughter that teach kids what marriage can really be

74. Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha (skinny) ordered Extra Hot and delivered by an Extra Hot

      husband

75.  Family candlelit pizza dinner eaten on fine china and crystal while dressed in our finest

76.  Shoeboxes filled with homemade Valentines that surpass Hallmark any day

77.  Leftover Christmas gift cards that provide a night at the movies for a family of 6

78.  Gifts of LIFE that show Christ's love

   

God Winks

     It's been quite a week -- one that keeps my head swirling and heart pounding.  From the get-go, I needed to stay on top of it before it got on top of me.  So last Saturday I called a family meeting to get a gameplan.  With pencil and paper in hand, I blocked off chunks of time to accomplish the mission ahead -- the typical stuff that fills up a family week -- school projects, piano recitals, hosting multiple ministry events, gymnastics classes, and adoption stuff just to name a little.

     Thankfully we kept on track, but I was reminded that it's not the big ticket items that make life so sweet.  While great joy is found in scheduled plans, life is really made up of all the God winks in between.  I've been on a journey to find God in the midst of the daily good and bad - when things go as planned and when they go amuck - when I'm looking eyes wide open and even when I'm burying my face in the pillow.  Because that's how God's grace is.  It's found in the ordinary, and it opens up the joy windows no matter what swirls around us. 

     I've been making a list of God's gifts, and the act of recording them has awakened me to what living really is about.  I was challenged by one of my favorite bloggers, Ann Voskamp, to begin making a list of everyday gifts.  You can read more about this beautiful project HERE, and I invite you to join me in discovering God's personal touch in every single moment of your life.   

     In celebration of Ann's newest book, One Thousand Gifts, she created this wonderful montage of living fully right where you are.  If you have just 5 minutes, be inspired by spending them here:

And my list of 1,000 Gifts continues:

49.  Words on pages that write on my heart

50.  Pizza & movie nights cozied up together

51.  Clearance sales to clothe growing bodies

52.  Salty tears

53.  Blue-eyed babes lined up for TB tests to prove their readiness to grow our family

54.  Anticipation of another precious nephew

55.  Spin bikes that pedal away tension from long days

56.  Connecting through texting

57.  Dreams of God-sized ideas

58.  Heat in our home

59.  Fire in our hearts

60.  Child-whispered prayers

61.  Muddy shoes

62.  Grandparents love

63.  Burdens that keep me running to Him

64.  A clean van

65.  Lists to keep me on track

66.  Joy in His faithfulness

A Labor of Love -- Widow Project Update

     We are so thankful for the generous support of our “Widow and Orphan” Project which took place on Saturday, January 15th. A 20-member team donated 4-plus hours to a local widow for this “Extreme Home Makeover.” Beforehand, our team asked family and friends to sponsor their efforts, with all donations going toward the Forrester family adoption fund. 

     We accomplished so much for this widow and her family – free of charge! We were able to install and repair her bathroom fixtures, front porch handrails, and a ceiling fan; landscape her front yard with new mulch; paint her hallway and bathroom; hang blinds; deep-clean her house; haul away trash; and cook a hot meal for her family. 

     To all who donated to this cause, we are deeply appreciative. We are especially grateful to a local company, United Restoration, for donating all of our many supplies. Our excitement is growing as we inch closer to providing a “forever family” to 1 or 2 Ethiopian children.  

     We’re about 25% toward the total cost of these international adoptions. If you would like to join us in this mission, you can give a secure, online gift by clicking on the tab at the top right.  

With grateful hearts,  

Brian and Jessica

Chad & Mike - our construction pros!

Kendal (above) and Shanda (below) -- painting professionals!

Meg tackling the linen closet

Ben & Lia (above) working on the outside
 and Jacob and Tess (below) working on the inside! 

Paige making a hot meal to leave for this sweet family!

Lady L (our sweet new friend we served) and Jess

GOOOO Team!

The Widow Project

We’re really excited about today's project, one that God dropped right into our hearts.  I’ve quoted James 1:27 in other posts, but it’s usually in emphasis of the word “orphan” –  “Religion that God the Father accepts as pure and without fault is this:  caring for orphans or widows who need help."  Well, what about the widow?  Where can God’s heart for the widow fit into our adoption plans? 

As we’ve tried to creatively figure out our adoption funding, we came across an innovative fundraising idea.  Here’s the story: through a grief ministry, we met a widow I’ll call “Lady L.”  She has two children – twins – who will be 9 years old on Valentine’s day.  Since her husband’s death last spring, her home projects have piled up.

So, we gathered an incredible group of family and friends for a mini-version of “Extreme Makeover Home Edition.”  This morning, we’re loading up vans with paintbrushes, ladders, lumber, cleaning supplies, mulch, and so much more. We'll take care of Lady L’s “honey-do” list . . . all free of charge with no-strings attached!  When we told her our plans to give a free day of labor, she was absolutely floored.  We knew God led us to the right family when Lady L said she had just prayed for someone to help her … and soon after, we called.

What does all this have to do with our adoption funds?  This is the other part that blows me away.  Not only are the amazing volunteers on our team joining us in a physical labor of love this week-end, but they mailed hundreds of letters asking for sponsorships . . . sponsorships which will go 100% towards our Ethiopian adoption expenses.  In essence, they are caring for the widow in service and caring for the orphan with financial sponsorships!

Every day, our kids run to the mailbox, looking for white envelopes arriving with this sponsorship money.  Imagine 4 little faces and 1 grateful mama doing the “happy dance” at the mailbox around 1PM everyday!  With every gift, I love hearing 4-year old Sam say, “God brought us more “doption” money.”  Through the gifts of both friends and strangers, we see God’s heart in action.  We are deeply humbled and thankful. 

In case you want to contribute towards this “Widow/Orphan” Project, it’s pretty simple.  You can click on the DONATE tab at the top of this blog, and make a tax-deductible donation via Paypal.  Or you can just send an email to jessicaforrester@allnationschurch.org, and I can give you more traditional payment information.  Above all, we covet your prayers that we will be a huge blessing to “Lady L” and this paves the way to bring “Baby Forrester” home. 

With love and thanks,

Jessica

P.S.  If you have friends or family who may want to get involved with a sponsorship gift, feel free to share this post on Facebook or Twitter by clicking on the “Share” tab. 

FAQ #3: Why does international adoption cost so much?

What a week of stepping back into the routine of school, new goals, and life’s daily adventures … but I just realized I’m behind on a blog post.  So here I am, finally sharing about the most recent “God confirmations” in the middle of our adoption journey. 

When we accepted the adoption call, a hefty price tag hung in our way.  I kept hearing about how expensive international adoptions were, and quite frankly, the idea of mixing money with children made me queasy. Already, there’s enough unimaginable atrocities happening to children in the name of the almighty dollar.  But as I’ve trudged through this adoption process, I’ve come to peace with the many different components which make these dollar numbers realistic and even necessary. 

Why do international adoptions cost so much? It varies some depending on the agency and country, but here’s where the money goes for our Ethiopia Program: 

Agency Application - $300

Immigration Application - $800

U.S. Home Study - $1,850

Dossier Fee - $3,000

Ethiopia Fee - $11,900

Travel/Lodging - $7,000 (This is approximate. . .  Ethiopia requires two trips, and then we’ll also have an additional child ticket on the final return – yea!!)

Post-Adoption Reports - $1,200 

The most expensive part, Ethiopia’s Program Fee, actually covers more than the legal fees for the country.  A portion of this money is used to provide supplies, food, medicine, and lodging for the kids who are still there and who may never have a forever family to come home to.  I love this!  So I’ve come to grips with the cost. Can I really put a price tag on a child’s life and determine in my finite mind that it’s not something I can afford? I fully believe our lives are best spent in partnership with God in redemptive mission, and adoption is such a beautiful picture of how God brings us into His family. 

Let me add one more honest thought: I really, really didn’t want to ask anyone for a single red cent towards this journey.  I was proud – and just plain fearful of criticism and misunderstanding.  After all, did I do fundraisers to pay hospital bills for the births of my other children?

But adoption IS different in some ways.  James 1:27 says, “This is pure and undefiled religion to care for the orphan and the widow.”  Adoption is a Great Commission activity.  For some of us, this may mean bringing a child into our home, or building wells for clean water, or providing education and medical supplies to a rural village.  These perpetual, global challenges require a funding born out of a Gospel-centered community instead of a single pocketbook. 

So I’m learning to get my self-sufficient spirit out of the way.  I am awestruck by the generous donations of friends, family, and even strangers.  I am so grateful for the love being poured out, and I want to commit my life to likewise pouring back into others. 

“God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.”  -- A.W. Tozer